Most of our anxiety stems from the uncertainty of life. Or rather, from our inability to accept or even cope with the fact that life is so highly unpredictable.
You may have done everything right, you may have worked out an optimal plan and strived to follow it step by step. However, despite all your efforts and planning, life can turn upside down.
Want some examples? There are hundreds, I’m sure some of them have passed by in your life.
- The relationship on which everything was based shatters;
- a sudden problem at work;
- an illness that affects you or a loved one;
- Someone else’s mistake seriously affects you.
When these unforeseen events occur, you feel like you are headed for endless chaos. And this is how anxiety and fear arise in our body: not knowing how to accept and manage uncertainty, your brain goes into survival mode and your chances of living a peaceful life plummet below zero.
The difference between the undecided and the undecided
There is nothing worse in life than always having to ask yourself what is right and what is wrong. Your anxiety and fears come from this, from the confusion that reigns in your mind when you have to make important decisions.
In fact, the most anxious and frightened people are those who, in the face of chaos, believe they have no foothold. They feel as if they are at sea, in the middle of the waves, tossed about by the currents. In this state of mind, it is impossible to live in peace.
On the contrary, strong and resilient people, those who seem to have discovered how to face the uncertainty of life and handle every situation with courage and decisiveness, are the ones who always know what is right and what is wrong.
Mind you, I am not saying that they are omniscient and infallible gods. They too make errors in judgment, fall down and fail. But, compared to others, they do not sink into anxiety for a very specific reason: they have defined a very precise scale of values, which they never lose sight of.
How do you deal with the uncertainty of life?
Each of us has the coordinates of happiness within ourselves. If you commit yourself to that inner and outer journey to find them, your life will be much simpler: all you have to do is set it up in such a way that you never lose sight of them.
But if you don’t dedicate yourself to that search, you will live a whole existence wondering what makes you happy. And most likely, in the end, you will be convinced that happiness is just an illusion, since you have not found it.
The same goes for how to deal with uncertainty in life: if you find yourself in a situation of great instability and uncertainty, it is essential that you know exactly what is or is not right for you. Because if you don’t, you won’t know which direction to take, what is the best option for you and for the people who trust you, how to behave.
You will be at the mercy of the currents of the sea, resigned to the idea that life is something to be endured passively, when in reality, each of us can be the architect of our own existence.
What are values?
Only you can discover what your values are. What is right or wrong for you, your compass to follow in every life situation.
Some of the most common values today are wealth, comfort, joy, beauty, pride and acceptance. In the past it was family, tradition, a sense of belonging to a community, spirituality, discipline. In the future, the most important values will be those related to rights: of people, of the environment, of animals.
Values are basically the answer to the question: What is really important to you in life?
How to deal with life’s uncertainty
If you find yourself in a difficult moment, values are the way out of the confusion. They are the order that counteracts chaos, the certainty that overcomes indecision. They are a lifeline when you have very important decisions to make and you can’t let fear sway you.
Values are so important because they basically decide for you. Make a list of the 10 values that are most important to you and learn them by heart. Once you learn your real values, they will come out on their own when you need them. Try it!
Establish a hierarchy
Once you have identified your ten values, order them by importance. This way, you will have a clear and precise hierarchy in case two values conflict on a given issue.
For example, calmness and pride may be important to you: what do you do when someone provokes you and perhaps insinuates untruths about you?
This is where hierarchy comes into play. If calmness is higher on your list of values than pride, you will decide to abandon the provocation. If, on the other hand, pride comes first, you will decide to respond in kind by giving up your peace of mind to defend your honor.
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