How can we define happiness? Argyle, one of the most important scholars of happiness, defines it as a general feeling of well-being derived from satisfaction in certain areas such as work, leisure, and interpersonal and intimate relationships.
Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology, affirms that it is necessary to break happiness down into three elements:
- Positive emotion
- Implication
- Meaning
Let’s break down each element to go a little deeper into it and find the right way to achieve happiness.
Positive emotion
Positive emotion is the raw feeling that we quickly get used to. A good example is the pleasure of chocolate which is 100% at the first taste of its flavor and then decreases progressively over time.
Involvement
Involvement consists in being oneself with what is happening around, as happens to the writer when he is completely “lost” in the act of creating the sentences that will give life to a new story. The pleasure he feels is not immediate, but is only experienced when he has completed the work.
It is easy to see how positive emotion can be achieved effortlessly (by eating, taking some kind of substance, alcohol, etc…), while involvement requires a commitment to realizing one’s potential.
The meaning of happiness
The third element of happiness is the meaning for which we want to do something, which affects not only ourselves but also others (family, society, ecology, etc.).
As Seneca said, “first we must be clear about what we want, and then we will look for the way to get there“.
To be happy, it is also necessary to feel fulfilled and this implies accepting oneself. Having positive social relationships is an essential element of our well-being, so happiness is mainly produced together with other people.
Therefore, to be happy we must have values and goals that we believe in and want to commit to, good social relationships and the ability to pay attention to and remember the positive things that happen.
Most people tend to get caught up in the small and big “catastrophes” of life (a fine to pay, an argument with a partner, a problem at work, injustices suffered, etc…) and spend their energy reacting automatically, hoping to overcome uncomfortable situations as soon as possible.
This leads to the inability to observe the positive things that happen on the same day, which prevents us from expanding our repertoire of thoughts and behaviors that help us to be better people.
For many people, happiness seems unattainable, but the truth is that happiness is a very close good, within everyone’s reach, we just have to stop and pick it up
