Why do you always go back to the people who hurt you? Why can’t you get rid of habits and situations that only make you feel bad? Why do you always make the same mistakes, as if you were incapable of learning?
It is not your fault. It is human nature that makes it difficult to go through a process that is actually not scary at all. On the contrary, it is what leads us directly to serenity, or even to a happy life.
It is the art of letting go of the past
To leave the past behind means to stop identifying with it. Many people identify completely with their past. When this happens, they become addicted to people, places, habits and moods, even though they are aware of the negative impact they have on their lives.
Our human nature is not programmed to be happy, but to survive. And that is why we always tend to prefer what we know to what we have not yet explored. We do this even though we are aware that we could probably be much better off outside our comfort zone.
Very often the price of habit security is very high. People change, situations evolve, certain environments and beliefs become toxic.
What once made us feel good, now makes us feel bad.
Deep down, we know it’s time to let go, but we can’t, because we fear that doing so means losing not only our past, but also ourselves.
It is possible that if you have sunk the roots of your identity in something that no longer exists, you fear that by letting it go, you will also lose yourself, you will cease to exist. That’s why people tend to cling so desperately to the past.
You risk not knowing who you are deep down and going into crisis. It takes courage to look inside yourself, so it is better to identify with the past and suffering, while wasting the present… isn’t it? In fact, you lose yourself precisely when you focus your attention on something that will never come back, instead of focusing on what you have and are now.
Don’t look for water in dry wells
An ancient Zen saying goes, “Don’t blame the dry well for not giving you water. Instead, ask yourself why you are desperately trying to quench your thirst where you know there is nothing for you.”
The reason we keep looking for water in dry wells is precisely because we cannot let go of our past. And so the routine, the habits, the illusory security. Everything that was and no longer is.
We even blame the poor dry well for not giving us water! In other words, we find fault everywhere so as not to admit that it is we who have the wrong attitude and do not want to look reality in the face.
And the fact is that a certain relationship, a certain situation, a certain way of living and being, a certain place or a certain security from the past no longer exist. The water has run out, the well is dry.
Letting go of the past by practicing non-attachment
To learn to let go of the past, one must first be aware that the world is full of wells.
Instead of insisting on looking for water where there is none, we should have the courage to walk away from what is safe but no longer has anything to give us. To have the strength to believe in our ability to get ahead even in a completely different context. To find some self-esteem, in short.
To practice Buddhist non-attachment
Those who succeed in this not only learn to let go of the past or those parts of it that bring only frustration, regret and anger. They also learn to make their life an extraordinary adventure.
Because when you are aware that everything evolves, you begin to evolve. And then something wonderful happens: if you flow with the flow of life, the Universe rewards you. People who respect you, healthy habits and pleasant and stimulating situations come into your existence.
